Change Your Primary Question – Change Your Life
Did you know that everyone has a primary question?
Am I worthy?
How do I get people to like me?
Why do things go wrong for me?
Why does everyone always screw me over?
Why is there never enough money?
What needs improving, how can I fix this and make things better?
What if you could change your life by changing the questions you ask yourself?
“Quality questions create a quality life. Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.” -Tony Robbins
To discover your primary question, think about your life and the events in your life that went especially wrong. What question do you ask about that those times or events? After really thinking about it and working through it, I came up with a couple I was asking myself:
“Am I enough?” or “Who am I?” It took me several days to really nail down what this question was so feel free to take your time uncovering it. If you have a spouse, partner, family member, friend, or coach you talk to regularly, ask them if they pick up on one because they may be able to see unconscious patterns that you can’t.
Now I know I don’t ask myself these questions out loud, but it shows up more in the form of jealousy, envy, frustration and feelings of not being good enough, smart enough, not knowing enough, worrying about money, asking other people’s opinion instead of trusting my own.
Where does this question come from?
Well let me tell you, these are not original questions. We inherit them in our DNA and through society.
Every person on the planet asks themselves these type of questions. Even the people we think have it together financially or emotionally, have a primary question driving their life.
I know that growing up in poverty did not help me feel like I was enough. Even if there is plenty of money coming in, I still worry if it will continue. Even though I have achieved every goal I have ever set out to accomplish, I still ask the question, “Am I good enough?”
The goal of course is to replace the old, less-empowering question with the new-and-improved version. This means you need to come up with a new question to replace it with. This works for any dialogue you have continuously going on in your head. This is also why affirmations are so effective because it helps you to focus on what you want instead of feeling “not good enough” for instance.
I will never forget when I journaled after meditating, “You need not be more, you are enough now.” That voice echoes a truth that we often times forget.
We are all unique and have gifts and talents that no one else has.
Your unique combination of experience and genetics means that every person has something that makes them truly special and gifted. We need each and everyone’s contribution to humanity and society.
I have been and still am I creating new questions that I ask myself anytime I feel those emotions of unworthiness popping up.
When I am writing an article or driving down the road thinking or surfing on social media or researching my competition or anytime I question whether I am worthy, I ask myself my new primary question:
“How can I be even more GRATEFUL to KNOW that I have everything I need WITHIN ME and I AM GOOD ENOUGH because I always do MY best?”
I also use affirmations like: “I am the only one who needs to love me” because self-love is the antidote to the question “Am I Worthy?”
Now it’s your turn. Stop and think about it for a moment. What’s your primary question?
Leave a comment below and let me know. Also try and write a new question. All of us here in the Art of You Community would love to help you push through these questions that keep us from being all that we are meant to be: happy, abundant, grateful and blessed.
I can’t wait to hear from you.
As a professional life coach, I will give you the guidance, support and accountability you need to create the life of your dreams. Book a free discovery call here.
A more affordable group coaching session is starting on Tuesday’s March 6th at 7:00 pm EST weekly for 9 weeks, with a minimum of 3 people.