Creating a Life You Don’t Need a Vacation From
My goal right now is to create a life I don’t need a vacation from. As I get older (40’s are the new 30’s, right?) I love the small things more and appreciating what I’d taken advantage of, like cooking, children, flowers, tomatoes, gardening, and creating art in everything I do. I guess you could say I’m more present and less in my head.
I think it has more to do with an awareness of appreciation and a shift in goals.
I am finding I want true wealth and balance.
That, in a nut shell, is spiritual, physical, intellectual, financial, AND relationships — it’s much bigger than success or just money. It is a complete fulfillment, it is harmonic wealth. Fullness brings you so much bliss, it is hard to describe. To the point where I can get a little teary-eyed, thinking about how wonderful my life is and how happy I am. Not because of things but because of the choice I have made to make “now” the most important part of my life.
If you feel an emptiness or longing somewhere in your life, it is usually that your goals were driven more in one category, than all of them. If you have not found this kind of joy, then something is off balance.
I grew up, in near poverty, due to a disabled sibling and a large family. That created in me, a strong desire for money. There were times when a box of food came from a church once a week to help feed us. I always looked forward to the junk food in that box like Captain Crunch, even though it wasn’t healthy, it was a sweet surprise!
When we moved into our house, there was no toilet, only an outhouse outside and portable potty in our bathroom, which my sister and I emptied outside. I appreciate flushing a toilet a lot more than most people!
I remember looking at the kitchen floor, which at one point was dirt, while my dad was building a new floor to replace the one that had holes in it. For a year, we did dishes in the bathroom, the only one all 6 of us shared in the 2 bedroom, 900 square foot house.
I remember getting free lunch at school and that made me not want to eat. There was a deafening sound of silence when the lunch lady yelled out “free lunch” after finding my name on a clip board list of “under-privileged kids.”
Needless to say, I was driven from a young age to create success in my life, financially.
I worked for many years to accomplish that, and once over that hurdle, I wanted more! I realized that I wanted better relationships, emotional health, physical wellbeing and a deeper spiritual connection.
After a couple years of totaling focusing on what I wanted in a partner, I found my soul mate and best friend. I couldn’t ask for more in that area. I really feel like we are just singing. We have a very strong commitment and passion for some of the same things, but enough separateness that our lives are interesting, fun and productive. We began to build a family together. Deliberately designing how our lives would unfold. And it was magical. Not that there have not been difficult times due to stress in a job or business. But we always had the end in mind and over came those obstacles with two bright beautiful children to enrich our lives.
Once I had financial wellbeing, and a thriving relationship with my spouse and children, I started wondering more about personal fulfillment and physical health. This year has been my mantra of “I am in the best shape of my life.” I was working too much and not finding time to work out or be physically fit like I wanted. No time for physical outdoor activities with the kids, not enough “real time” in general. I made the commitment to myself every day – setting aside time (30 minutes at first) to work on me, either by working out, or sorting and organizing – activities that I knew would help me fill my cup. I began meditating regularly for stress relief and focus. I found a local church that I felt comfortable with that fed my need for a better connection with people and my own spirituality.
Doing one thing a day just for me made me so happy (and sane), and it is amazing how that balance made me feel like there were more hours in the day! I also began chipping away at everything I saw around the house that I wanted to fix, glue, hang, or buy. I made a list of everything I wanted to fulfill. What was I waiting on for so long? Was it that I thought I didn’t have time? Because I said I didn’t have time? “I’m so busy!” (Busy thinking about being busy, for sure) But isn’t time totally relative?
You have what you believe you have. Whether it be time or money. There is more than enough. You are creating your reality…
Most people believe you have to work hard to make money? You can change your relationship to money and therefore your experience. I began saying “Money comes to me easily, effortlessly“. I’m sure you know by now that worry attracts the very thing you don’t want – Broke. So I stopped worrying about it and started spending more time thinking about how “I have money.” I even wrote down on a piece of paper, I HAVE MONEY. I started thinking about putting away $200 a month or a week and adding to it regularly, because “I have money.” Changing your perspective…
I began realizing that time, or lack of it, was all in my head. I would still do the same activities for work, but started having a huge increase in personal time, to pull weeds from my little garden. Time to take care of and plant more trees and flowers. More time to cook, more time for crafts with the kids and time to take them on activities. I just knew that money would be there if I was fulfilled and happy on all levels, that we would be taken care of if I stopped worrying about everything. Working too much, not spending enough time with the kids, not working out, not fixing things, not accomplishing enough… JUST STOP WORRYING! Instead feel gratitude by looking for things to appreciate each and every day.
My goals have changed obviously. I am still driven as I always have been, but my drive has returned to a creative nature. The one I lost when I only went after financial gains. What is interesting is that when you balance your life completely and are fulfilled, everything expands. You will realize that “the better it gets, the better it gets.”
My wish for you is that you evaluate where you are in your life. Take a little time to think about what you want “now” and in the near future. Relax a little, meditate or pray daily.
Find that fulfillment that you deserve and will have, if you only allow it.
I hope you find the joy you are looking for and join me over here, in the happy club. If you are already at that place in your life, leave me a comment below and tell us about it. Community and friendship is so important in this short life so let’s get to know each other a little better.
Enjoy your day, I certainly have!
Love and more love,