Training your Mind

training your mind

I’m finally returning to normalcy, peace of mind and the “ole homestead” in Charlotte, N.C., after being gone for a month across the country to Seattle, WA and back.

Though we are happy to finally have Nana here, moving her here, was trying on all of us. I mean we moved a freaking mountain. Packing and driving across the country for 6 days was not only physically draining, but mentally exhausting.

How can you silence your mind, when it is constantly being stimulated?

Obviously, none of us had any alone time with all the work to be done, living out of suitcases and surrounded by boxes, plus two kids and two dogs constantly needing attention.

We were all drained, though happily, no one died in the process. I did hurt my shoulder, my husband fell off the truck and nana only cried once, that I know of. WHEW! Mission accomplished with only a few bumps and bruises!

I am eternally grateful to be home and have a little time to myself now, even if it’s only early in the morning or late at night.

I not only need meditation and mindfulness, I crave it and feel it is essential for anyone to feel happy, joyful and at peace on a regular basis.

The moving of my mother-in-law was overwhelming for all of us, but especially for her, though you wouldn’t know it. Like a fearless soldier on the battlefield, she faced the enemy head on, without complaining, but instead realizing this was a good time to clear her “stuff” and change her life for the better.

Leaving a home of 30 years to move from the cool Northwest to the hot South in the middle of summer was done with intention, but not without stress.

When you face change, if you want progress, it begins with a brave decision.

This was definitely a challenging move for her and I respect her ability to begin letting go of all that was, to step into what can be.

[ctt template=”2″ link=”dnT84″ via=”no” ]Facing the unknown can be fearful, but it can also be liberating.[/ctt]

As we were driving for 6 days together across country, we had a lot of time to talk and reflect. Being a professional life and business coach, you know I offered my two cents whenever prompted and sometimes when not. 🙂

As we talked about her past, her psychotic and violent neighbor (who we had to call the police on, because he attacked us verbally, while we were there), I encouraged her to let go and leave it there, in her past and in Seattle.

“Every mile we drive,” I said, “Let go a little bit more.”

There are many levels to our emotions, because pain not only exists in what we have felt in the past, but we still feel the pain presently – every time we bring it to our conscious mind.

This type of pain is self-inflicted and an unnecessary torture that we put ourselves through, when we use our imagination, to invent false realities.

“What’s going to happen if I lose my income? What will my family do? Why did he dump me? I’m worthless. I’m not good enough. Nothing I do matters. How come my boss said that to me? One day I’m going to die... ”

Though most people remember pain somewhere in their life, it is their choice to keep “re-living it” by thinking about it over and over. Playing these reruns of what happened to you, is what keeps it alive in your mind, but also present in your body.

Your brain loves to keep thinking about the same thing over and over trying to work out how to fix it, but you can’t fix the past. This prehistoric brain is unfortunately more harmful than good with it’s ever present problem solving, if you keep rehashing problems from your past.

You cannot feel an emotion, without having it present itself in your physical body. You will feel it in your joints, in your organs or in the form of turmors or cancer.

The energy of anger is a powerful force, that will continue to manifest, again and again.

I have noticed that the more someone holds onto anger, they tend to pull people to them, that are also angry. Like attracts like. Like a magnet these people are pulled or drawn to the same stressful experience through different people and different circumstances. Until they let their past anger go, they will never stop being a victim in their present.

Become aware of what you are thinking and observe that false conversation you are having with yourself.

Then, you can begin to be conscious of these overplayed memories and thoughts and choose to stop listening to the same repetitious and even ridiculous, recording in your mind.

Just noticing the present: the details of your clothing, the sounds your car makes while you are driving, the lines on the road as you pass by, removes you from the constraints of your mind and a foreign past that you keep reliving. Presence gives way to the ability to leave your past where it belongs and stop letting your brain control how you feel right now.

Start paying attention to that voice in your head and if you don’t like what you hear, turn it off, by being conscious of it.

Quiet the voice of insanity that is using your imagination to invent circumstances that aren’t true, by focusing your attention on right now.

The past is a lesson and it’s over. The future isn’t here yet. Find the beauty of the present, because in a moment, it will be the past and it will be over.

If you can control the inner dialogue of worry, fear & doubt in your head, through presence and mindfulness, you will stop being a prisoner of your own mind.

Forever grateful for you, the one who is reading this. Get in the conversation in the comments below. The Art of You community wants to hear from you! Please share this message on social media or in an email with your friends who may benefit from it. Sharing is caring…

Peace and blessings,




  • Sue faulkner

    Hello, Laura! Thanks for the moving blog on this topic. i’m a problem solver by nature and certainly like to “look back” & try to solve/understand the problems of my past. Thank you for the reminder to “let go” and enjoy the “today” that i have been blessed with in this life!

    July 25, 2017 at 10:25 AM
    • laura laire

      Hi Sue,
      Thank you for the comment. Always glad to hear from my readers.
      Most of us think about the past often but when you know it’s not helping you to figure out what went wrong, it’s so much easier to let it go. So glad you are enjoying “today.”

      July 26, 2017 at 3:36 PM